" So it's congratulations all round," I said, casting a quizzical glance atGerda, who still hadn't said anything to Helmut and me."Thank you, Eva," sa...d Leni. "In fact, if you don't mind restaging themoment, I can photograph Helmut proposing to you and slipping the ring onyour finger. Will you help me get my equipment from my room, Wernher?" Of course," he replied.As soon as they had left us, Gerda rounded on Helmut."Have you lost your mind?" she said."What do you mean?" I want nothing more. I could not breathe when I awoke. I felt the dreadful pain in my chest and arms, piercing straight into my heart just as it did before. My tears could not be stopped from rolling down my cheeks as the realization hit me once again that I am unwanted by the man I love. I know exactly what the dream means, for the message in it is abundantly clear. There can be no more. No more dreaming of the man I love. No more wanting him late at night, and needing his love to be thrust gently inside me. No. It felt wonderful and made me think of the Nissan advert on the TV. I looked and felt just like the girl on the advert.The other nice thing was the reaction that I got from other motorists, men that is, they would wink or smile at me and I would take pleasure in the fact that I was certainly becoming attractive to the "opposite" sex. I really had started to consider myself female.I began to meet lots of people, both male and female, on the Training course or at night school. To all of them I. ‘Starbucks is right across the street…’ ‘Works for me,’ Teresa smiled. ‘Let’s go.’ They walked across the street, talking of the weather. When they got inside even, their conversation didn’t stop expanding. Roger found it extremely bizarre. They sat in stools adjacent to each other and kept talking until Teresa told a joke that had them both in tears. They sat silent for a moment until Roger spoke up. ‘Uh, Teresa,’ he started, ‘I have to ask you… why did you always act like such a bitch in.
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