My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”24. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shif... work.25. I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.26. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.27. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke ... timing.28. Wife says to her programmer husband, “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.” Husband returns with 12 loaves of. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against hers, and began exploring her mouth with his tongue.He was going to give her the ride of her life. He’d spent the last few days screwing every woman at school who threw him as much as a glance; adding Nicolette to his list of conquests was something he’d already been considering.Forget the patrol. His arms wrapped around the cheerleader, one hand reaching behind her and deftly undoing her bra. As he sucked and nibbled on her neck, he glanced around,. It was already to late, thought.’ ‘Oh you poor thing.’ River is looking at me with her wicked grin firmly in place. I shrug. ‘It’s just as well. I was being an idiot.’ She looks at me strange, so I explain. ‘I wasn’t wearing a condom. I really hadn’t expected the kissing we were doing to go that far, so I hadn’t bought any. She said it didn’t matter. I probably would have had the karma to have gotten her pregnant right then on my first time.’ River tilts her head. ‘How old would the child be. I looked up and the man was introducing himself to me, it was Gary. After we made our formal introductions he went to get a drink and we finished up our game. It was now his turn to play my wife so I thought I would give them a little space and go sit at the bar for a few minutes. I watched from a distance as my wife flirted with our new friend. After several games and a couple more rounds my wife sat down next to me at the bar, as she leaned in to kiss me she ran her hand up my leg and grabbed.
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