? Jack suddenly had a flashback to the many occasions when Wendy would slap his bottom and shout, ?Hey Wide Load!? followed by some smart-alec remark ...ike ?You’re crushing me over here!? or ?Just go and take a dump man!? or ?When’s NASA gonna land their probe??This was an exaggeration of the truth. In reality, Jack had a very slightly bigger than average butt, but Wendy was sublimely cruel, drawing out even the slightest imperfection for the maximum humiliation. With the size of his ass now. It all started when my friend Sue invited me round for coffee. I hadn't seen her forages. I knew she had had love-life problems, what with her unemployed live-in boyfriendexpecting her to do all the housework as well as hold down a demanding job in a Citybank to support the two of them.I got there about eleven, and was ushered in by a strangely-excited Sue. I said nothing,but wondered what was up. She took my coat, sat me down, then asked “coffee?”. “Oh, yesplease,” I said. She made no move to. She then tilted her head and lightly kissed my lips. Ever so lightly was the kiss so as to not smudge my lipstick. Patti said, “Tammy these are my friends from the office. This is Ron, Mike and John. They all shook my hand as a man would shake a women’s hand, delicately. I must say Joe and Patti have some very handsome manly men as friends. They all looked like footballers, tall, strong and manly. Joe led us to the playroom downstairs and directly to the bar. He made Vodka Tonic’s that we. Assuming I didn't faint from anticipation, that is.Even deciding what to wear wasn't the normal 'whatever is clean' ten-second decision. I made sure that the jeans and sweatshirt I chose had no holes, and weren't too wrinkled. I double-checked my underwear, a skidmark would have been very embarrassing. I considered dabbing on some of my Dad's cologne, and decided against it. Mr. and Mrs. Myers would probably have wondered what the heck was going on if I showed up smelling like Snookie's prom.
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