What I said back there, most of it I didn’t mean. I just said it out of anger and frustration, and I don’t even know what was crossing my mind. Al... I knew was that you were dressing less and less around me. To be honest, at first, I didn’t mind. But I didn’t want to cross any lines because of our parents. This relationship our parents have: it’s really important to them, and I didn’t want to interfere with it or do anything to break it up.”“You thought that the two of us, with each other, would. . not ALL the time. And we still talked a lot with each other about what was going on or the funny anecdotes of the day, just ... not the deep personal stuff anymore.We were going backwards. For the first three months of our friendship, Nick and I had gradually worked to a point of comfortability that included casual touches, comments without fear of judgment, and a complete lack of tension. In the span of seven days, we'd regressed back to early September, with Nick second-guessing everything. I know I will stumble through it so please promise you’ll let me get it all out before you interrupt me. And promise you won’t judge me harshly by what I am going to say. Its how I feel and I’m not sure how it happened. Promise me - Please?” “I promise” I responded “ and you know I care about you way too much to be judgmental when it comes to you and me! There is nothing you could do or say that would make me change how I feel about you. I love you!” “I know – but maybe not like this.” I could. .. He said... He told me you were. I'm sure he did." I wouldn't be surprised." Does he think you are?" Hell no! He just likes to confuse things. You know what he's like." Yeah, I... so you're not gay? Not even a bit?" Fuck, no! Not a bit." Oh." Yeah. Oh." Shit." Yeah, that too." God, I... I wouldn't have... well, I probably wouldn't have done some of those things." Uh huh." No, really. But I might have because I thought we were really comfortable, you know." Well, we are, generally, you know,.
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