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I stripped and turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature to as hot as I could stand.I used the toilet and spent nearly two minutes trying to f...gure out how to flush it! There was no traditional lever like back home! Eventually, I figured out that you raised a knob on the top of the tank and the toilet would flush. When I thought about it, I realized it actually made more sense than the lever system we used.I got into the shower. The hot water felt good flowing over my body as I washed.. Eric was having the time of his life, banging his way through all our admirers, making promises he had no way of keeping. It took another minor STD to slow him down. Even condoms aren't always effective. At least he was a little more selective, and there was a mild scandal, not to mention an increased number of doctor visits by some very pissed off women, when it came out. I was surprised he could find someone still willing to go out with him.He was moaning about it on my couch when I dropped. When you finish your tour of duty here, you’re going to remember this night because it’s a onetime thing. After tonight, you will be blocked from all venues of contact. And we’ve got enough on you if you try to make contact, let’s just say, the internet and YouTube would have a new star. That’s right, Todd. Cover the head with the Crisco. Now poke at least a handful in his ass. Push the grease into at least your knuckles. Don’t try to fist him yet. I think you’ll be able to fist him after you. I mean, there would obviously be bettercircumstances for this to happen, like my girlfriend could be here, Lucycould be at home, and... y'know... I could still be a 17 year-old male. But hey, when life gives you saggy boobs, you just gotta wear a betterpush-up bra."Matt, wait here with Lucy while I check us all in," I told him once weentered the terminal. There were two people in front of me, and as Istood there waiting, I began to wonder if and how I would explain toMatt that he isn't on.
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