My oldest daughter, herself distraught from the loss of her mother, had to care for me like a baby. I couldn't think, could barely breathe, and didn't...want to. The kids settled Claire's affairs; I wasn't capable. Eventually though I had to try and have some sort of life, even if it was without her. That's how I ended up as a troll.Yes, a troll. You know the kind. Lives under a bridge. Grumpy. Doesn't want company. A long time ago, I read a series of essays called Magic Harbor1, by a fellow. She liked to do it first thing in the morning, when she was still groggy with sleep, or last thing at night, before drifting into a contented slumber. She didn't often feel the need of a hand-job in the middle of the afternoon. But then, she didn't often talk to a girl like Marylou!How could Marylou admit to such things, to a girl she had just met? Rachel was astounded by the older girl's bold confessions--and would have been even more shocked, had she realized that the naughty things that. After that, I only felt more sorry for myself. More helplessand freakish. I didn't dare have a girlfriend. How could I sleep with agirl, or even so much as kiss her before I'd turn into her. That madeany romantic possibilities hopeless, and drove the point home that I wasuntouchable to the human race. A pariah that only seemed to fit in. One day, like I'd done several other times, I dressed up in mylong sleeves and loose clothing (which I'd found gave more leeway duringunexpected. As the conversation went on she said she had a porno that she used to watch with an ex boyfriend so i told her to stick it on for a laugh . The 2 of us were pretty high just lying on the bed watching this porno and when i am stoned i always get very horny so iam sitting there with her pillowup at my face watching as some woman was sucking on 2 big cocks and i was as horny as hell and i could tell jen was the same becasuse she was breathing heavy the whole time watching it my knickers were.
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