As soon as he got home he made a bolt for the door!A blond is walking down the street with one tit hanging out. A cop stops her and says, “Look darl...ng, as pretty a picture as it makes, you’re going to have to put that away. I could cite you for indecent exposure.”“Why?” says the blond.“Your tit is hanging out!” replies the cop, astounded.The blond looks down and says “Oh, shit! I left the baby on the bus again!”A man’s been through a rough patch of health, and the docs can’t work out what’s. I also dreaded using the straight lye soap that the locals used instead of the sliver of travel-sized soap that I had in my overnight bag. I certainly was not going to stop shaving; maybe I could hire a body servant or something.That didn't feel right. No, no body servant for me.As for my clothes, I knew that I was going to stand out like a sore thumb. But there was no way in hell that I was not going to wear her gift. This was what Kassandra wanted me to wear, so I would do so until she let me. The following is a tongue-in-cheek story inspired by The Calendar Girls:‘And now ladies, I will announce the results of the home made preserves contest: In third place was Mrs Patterson’s beetroot chutney. The second prize goes to Mrs Hamilton-Smythe with her celery and walnut conserve. The first prize once again is taken by the Reverend Betty Finch with her delicious damson jam.’A ripple of applause rang round the Widebotham village hall.The chairman, Mrs Elsie Rippendale, a relative newcomer. Her tongue swept across her teeth, lightlylicking the inside of her lips. "I hope you're enjoying the taste of mypanties, Eric," she sneered. "Don't let go now or you'll be in bigtrouble." She pulled on the lace garment and began leading him to theirbedroom, like it was a short leash attached to his mouth. Eric followedbehind awkwardly, stumbling to keep pace, as her skirt and ass swayedunder her stilettos on the way to their bed.Reaching the foot of the bed, Julia turned Eric around, and put.
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