All of my questions were answered before I asked them, so I walked back out to where the buses were parked and gave my suitcase to the driver. I had a...small computer bag containing my notepad and ultra-light laptop. That gave me music or video for entertainment, and my laptop to send and receive e-mails from friends and family. I read books off my pad, and would enjoy having time to read for a change. I was either busy at the park or loving with the girls at home. I wondered when they would. I cut the side of my arm three times horizontally, the second cut was the deepest. For about a minute I was mesmerized by my own blood falling into the sink, nothing else existed at that moment. I was in a trance I didn’t even feel any pain, it was like I was floating away from my body. Drip…Drip…Drip…Drip. Strangely symbolic my dance with death. I had a little to drink at the party and my adrenaline was pumping from cutting myself and the knowledge that this was my last night, it all made my. That's all." But I can't do that," she protested and didn't want to move. "Now I feel naked." But you are not," I countered. "Come on, mom, do not draw attention to us."We walked to the restaurant door while mom was still protesting. I stopped her just before the door and said, "You say you feel naked, but you know no one can see your nakedness. That's a sexy feeling. I bet you are getting excited already and that is how you should be. You are the birthday girl, mom." Then I pulled mom closer. They both looked towards the back door at the same time. “Don't even think about it. Now watch” she demanded. They both stared while keeping quite in fear of upsetting her. Fear changed to confusion as the video changed from the hotel with them walking inside to a bedroom with Jane and a muscular guy in front of a camera. Confusion quickly went to understanding and disbelief as they realized what was happening. Troy groaned “Jane no no you”. “Shut the fuck up Troy! I understand perfectly. If.
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