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They're cute." Cute?" He laughed at that. "I had three girls come round applying for the job, none of 'em thought my boys were cute." Your boys?" I wo...dered at that, since we'd been talking about dogs."My dogs, yeah. I ain't never been much for family, so I call them my boys." He smiled to himself. "They're spoiled a bit, but good lads every one of 'em. So go on, tell me more about yourself then."We had gotten away from his original question, so I started talking about me."Well, I graduated. .. On any fcking land I wish! No questions asked! Do - you - fcking - understand?!”The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s enormous, angry bull ... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.The. The Dean was ready for that. He had my check in his hand and asked the asshole if he wanted to quibble or if he wanted the fucking money. He wanted the fucking money. I love our Dean! A couple months later, the Christmas issue of the alumni newsletter had a front-page picture of the asshole (his face, not his asshole actually) and a story about how the asshole had produced a miracle through his own brilliant and unceasing efforts and bullshit and more bullshit and yadayadayad, and they were. I was trapped, pure and simple. May was clinging to me, failing to make any kind of coherent word, as Phil tried to talk over her anyway. As I looked around us, I couldn't help but notice the dozens of people with their eyes on us. On every face I read confusion. People knew that something had happened but they didn't know what.In desperation, I turned to Nicole, who was looking down at the floor, an uneasy look on her face. She wasn't even bothering to try to make eye contact with anyone in.
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